DonnyBeav Gets Into The Flytying Market…
You might not believe your eyes, but they aren’t fooling you. You’re really looking at a purple squirrel discovered near Lycoming County.
The odd creature was discovered by Percy and Connie Emert in Jeresey Shore, PA on Sunday.
“We have bird feeders out in our yard, and the squirrels are constantly into them,” Connie told Accuweather.com. “My husband traps them and then sets them free elsewhere so they don’t get into your bird feeders.”
She said she had seen the little creature on the property before, but no one would believe her.
“I kept telling my husband I saw a purple one out in the yard. ‘Oh sure you did’ he kept telling me,” she added. “Well, he checked the trap around noon on Sunday and sure enough, there it was.”
The Emerts’ plan to release the squirrel back into the wild in the next few days. As for why he is purple, they don’t know. But they swear they had nothing to do with it. The Accuweather team has some theories, though, ranging from him getting into paint to even falling into a port-a-potty.
pot investigators of the Dirtbag Flyfishing Posse have been on the case of this squirrel. We have uncovered the following proof theories:
DonnyBeav is trying to corner the flytying market by breeding genetically enhanced animals for the colored fur. And a by-product would be clown-colored game meat.
He would use this colored game meat, quite possibly at a children’s themed restaurant such as Chuck-E-Cheese for the new DonnyBeav Brand Hot-N’-Spicy Squirrel Wraps with minty-pickle sour sauce. Sounds yummy…. pick up some for your kids today!
Or he is trying to form a resurgence of once popular “Barney and Friends” children’s TV show by having a more Pee-Aye friendly animal host that kids could identify with? Purple Punxsutawney Phil was already locked up in a existing media contract with the PA Lottery.
Also the crack
potteam of investigative reporters have found that DonnyBeav wishes to have colored game to corner the market on colorblind hunters that wish to have a “canned hunt” on some hunting preserve. Simply put, this squirrel escaped from the Beav’s hunting fields. Be on the lookout for fluorescent pink deer and sunflower yellow pheasants.
While we did try to confirm these theories with the Spring Ridge Club, they were not in the mood to take our questions. We think theory #1 is the most solid - as seen at Charlie Cravens’ flyshop